It is a dark road and a car in driving around the corner just a little bit fast! Suddenly, a deer jumps out in the road and stops suddenly in the middle of the road! The deer has two options 1) run back to where it is familiar and safe or 2) run ahead where it is unfamiliar and unknown.
At times it seems like I am the deer, and life is the car. Life is whirling down the street and is head towards me and I have to move before I get hit! I want to run straight ahead, it is exciting and new. However, running back is familiar, safe.
Ahead is life at Missouri State. I find it a bit hilarious that when people find out where I am going to grad school their first words are: "Missouri, why there? Nothing is out there!" you know that might be true.. but you know whats out there for me.. is opportunity! Missouri attracts me because it is NOT CALIFORNIA. (Sad, I know) but it is true.
California is where I grew up.. My family is here, friends are here, my whole life WAS here. However, I have out grown california.. Ever since I moved to Oregon, I have never looked at california the same. There are times when I feel like I am a dog, tied up to a fence in the front yard. And, I am trying to get something that is just a bit out of reach and I run towards it only to be snatched back.
The only reason that I want to stay in california is because of my sister's wedding.. I want to be involved in the planing.. other than that.. every bone in my body is aching to get out!
I have to admit, I do feel pretty bad saying that I dont want to stay at home and that I am starting to feel like I am chained to it. When I look around and I see nothing here... there is nothing that is calling me to stay! Thats not to say, I wont miss everyone!
August 20, 2009 is when I officially will leap forward to the unknown. It is when the deer finds out new and exciting things to do with her life. Two full years, it a long time for certain things to come in to play.
Bring it on Missouri: New friends, New school, New place to live!
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Did you learn any thing new about me?! Leave a comment.... that always makes me smile..
hey, hey....old friends too! And I know exactly what you mean. I can relate to everything you said there...minus your sister's wedding....I don't really have a reason to help plan it :) but the rest of it, well, you know, i feel for ya. it's gonna be good though! new places and new things always lead to good new opprotunities!
ReplyDeleteBeen thinkin about you girl and your move to Missouri. Found your blog as a result. I totally understand about California.. Your world is expanded now and because you took that leap to Oregon, it's gonna keep on expanding. as long as you havent seen the whole state of Missouri.....there is plenty for you to experience. Praying you will be filled up with new experiences during your stay. God bless you
ReplyDeletelove, Dani