Thankfulness

Its November!  It is that time to stop and give Thanks.  You see it on facebook and you'll hear it around most dinner tables on Thanksgiving: People giving thanks.  It is important to give thanks, to appreciate the big and the small things around you.

I always had a problem expressing my Thanks.  I remember when I was younger dreading the "Lets go around the table and give 3 things you are thankful for" conversations.  I never really enjoyed doing that, who knows why.  I always thought it was because I wasnt good with words or maybe it seemed forced or maybe I didnt like that everyone was listening and their eyes were on me.  Whatever, the reason is I didnt like that activity.

I am now 26 years old and although I am not jumping on the bandwagon and posting a thankful status every day; I am stopping and blogging today.  It is here on my blog that I can be open and honest.  It is my way of telling you what is on my mind.

THANKFULNESS

It wasn't until recently that the real meaning of Thankfulness hit me, and being thankful of what really matters.  

• I am thankful for my parents for raising me up in a household that LOVE God; for loving me no matter what, for teaching me what is right and what is wrong; for their high expectations; for not lowering them because we fail a few times at getting them right; for putting us in christian schools and making a way for us to go to college.  
• For my mom for teaching me how to raise my future children; for instilling that teacher mindset in me, and for always giving me the words
• For my dad for showing me what a Man of God looks like; what a father looks like; for what a husband looks like; for working 6 days a week; for providing for us
• I am thankful for my siblings for loving me, for putting up with my quiet temper tantrums, for supporting me; for being on my side; for sticking up for me; for being protective of anyone who looks at me wrong.  
• I am thankful for my friends for being an ear to talk to; for being a person where I can let my hair down and be free; for having fun with me; for being a shoulder to cry on; for not judging me; for being real and honest to me; for smacking me and telling me to WAKE UP; for all those late nights where we sat up and giggled and talked about boys. 

• I am thankful for mostly for God for his love.  I am just awed and overwhelmed by how much he loves us.  I mean have you looked at the world lately?! We are messing up left and right yet he still looks down with love in his eyes.  You know if it was us we would of given up a long time ago.  If I just look at myself, there are things I see that I even roll my eyes and think, "Oh man Rachel! You are MESSED UP!"  Yet I hear that still small voice that says, "Yes, you didn't make the best decision but do you remember the cross?  I died for that sin, I don't see you that way.  You are my daughter and I love you!  Just come back to me, and I will wrap my arms around you.  It's okay."  I see God as a combination of all the people above:  A father, who will always love me.  He is always teaching me, correcting me, giving me the examples to live by. A sibling, who is always putting up with my tantrums, and he is protective of me.  A friend, who I can be real with, cry with, there are times when he smacks me too and he knows my thoughts before I think them.  

There are many things a person can be thankful for but for me it's the last point that drove it home recently.  So, this thanksgiving, just stop and think about what you are truly thankful.  You don't have to post it on facebook, blog it or even say out loud.  God knows where your heart is; just be sincere and truthful and take the time to reflect it.  

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Biblical Worldview??

In the last few weeks, I have been spiritually challenged in a way that I have never thought I would.  I have been more and more aware with each growing day that I have been falling ever so far from what I have learned and knew in Sunday School.  I have always considered myself a Christian.  It is all what I have ever known.  I know all the famous bible stories and a few famous versus, but does that mean I am a Christian??? Well, I had a good foundation and I believed that Jesus Christ is the one true God and is the only way! However, I have been blind sided by the lack of faith I have had growing up during these past few weeks.  There has been almost an ache of some sort that reminds me that I am so far from what God has called me to be and where I need to be.  I have been playing back my childhood and noticed that most of my dependance has come from 1) my parents - for obvious reasons and 2) my friends - I have looked to my friends to "define" me, to tell me who I am and what I should do to be happy.  I have noticed that I am like a chameleon.  I change my attitude, my beliefs, my behaviors to fit the company I was with.  I have gotten very good at this.  I simply observed people and listened to them talk and knew what I need to do to get their approval of me.  However, in the last year or so I have been confronted with things that would bother me.  I noticed that I would get truly upset in private about certain things when I thought about them.  However, in public it those certain things wouldn't bother me.  I started to think.... Did I get so used to adapting my behavior to fit whatever company around that I did it without even thinking about it?  I had to, because in private when I could truly be myself, those same issue would make my blood boil!  I would become furious at myself!  With all this thinking that was happening intermittently behind the scenes, I didn't really pay much attention with what was actually going on.

I normally wake up and spend about 30 minutes of my day reading a devotional, and a chapter or two in the bible.  Thinking about that I needed to really start being more dedicated in doing devotionals.  I noticed that I was so refreshed in the morning! I would have GREAT start of the day at work, with christian radio playing worship music all day.  However, about mid day I would start to feel my high slowly start to drain.  My attention became less and less on God and my behavior started to adapt once again to the present company and I noticed that I was being emotionally and spiritually pulled down.  I have been fighting the fact that all my praying, devotions and bible reading was making me feel less and less perfect.  I couldn't do everything perfectly.  The mere thought of doing all what I am called to do perfectly was making me exhausted.  I felt more and more like a failure in my christian walk then I have ever felt before.

I had a book sitting on my kitchen table for quite a while now, maybe about a month.  I wanted to read it (thats why it was out) but I was in the middle of two other books.  However, I finished those books earlier this week.  So today I thought, "Sweet, I cant wait to read this book."  This book is called, "World View: Learning to think and live biblically" by Greg Laurie.  I have been listening to Greg in the mornings as I get ready for work.  He was advertised this book before and I have always thought, "Huh?! I think I have a biblical worldview."  Anyways, I started to read it today.  Well, guess what chapter one: Absolute truth had already challenged me.  It started off stating that absolute truth exists in this world whether you like it or not and that as a True Christian or as a Follower of Christ you need to have absolute truths in your life and you need to believe that the word of God is the absolute truth.  So, far I was agreeing with it.  Nothing was challenging me as of yet!  HAHAHA.  Well, it continues to talk about the 10 commandants.  It states that these commandants are God rules of how to follow him!

The first chapter covers the first commandant in much detail: "You should have no other Gods before me."  As I was reading a lot of the information in the chapter I have heard before.  Nothing new, after all I have been in church all my life.  However, there was a little voice that kept bugging me.  It was saying, "Sure Rachel you don't worship any other gods, like other religions, but am I the one person who you live for?!" WOW!!! OUCH!!! I heard myself say, "No, not really, I am constantly changing or adapting my behaviors and my mindset for the friends or people in my life."  :-/  Wow that wasn't what I was hoping I would say back.  So, chapter one challenged me for today, for this week and really for life.   I am blogging this so I can 1) be public about it and 2) people can hold me accountable.  I know myself, If I don't make it public and have people to hold me accountable I will adapt once again slowly and not be truly mindful about this challenge.

CHALLENGE: NOT TO LET FRIENDS, FAMILY, OR ANY ONE ELSE TO DISTRACT ME FROM WHAT I KNOW I NEED TO DO.  NOT TO LET THEM DEFINE ME OR TO CHANGE MY BEHAVIOR SO THEY CAN BE HAPPY AND ACCEPT ME!  I am tired of waiting for people to define me cause each time they do I lose a little bit more of me! Right now, I need to find me more than I need to find anyone else or anything else.  I can only find me in the one who person who made me, ME!  So, as I take a step back and refocus my eyes on the Lord and how me sees me.  My hope is that I will find a stronger and more vocal Rachel inside me.  I need to not let others dictate what they see in me.

I leave you with this verse: "He who loves their father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me.  And he who loves their son or daughter more than Me is not worthy of Me.  And he who does not take his cross and follow after Me is not worthy of Me.  He who finds his life will lose it, and he who loses his life for My sake will find it."  (Matthew 10:37-39)

So Lord, help me to put you first above everyone else.  Define me and make me the person who you created me to be! Give me the words to find my voice and stand up for you and what is right.  I know that I cant be good enough for you by myself.  I need you to let you COMPLETELY change me inside and out so that I have the desire to obey your commands and your words.  I don't want an "iGod" where I can personalize you in a way that fits my needs.  I want a GOD who can personalize and change me in the way that I was created to be.  I thank you for everything you've done for me.
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Mirrors! What do you look like?

Lately, I have been feeling like I am coexisting in two different worlds! One world occurs on sunday, from 10:00 am - 11:00 am, the other world occurs through out rest of the week! 

On sunday, I noticed that life seems so "picture perfect" I get up, get ready for church by putting my best clothes on, then on to church.. Great worship great sermon... then the dismissal... Life seems to fit in both the logical and the emotional aspect.  I am all ready to have a great rest of the week.  I have listen to the sermon and "it totally spoke to me." I am all ready to take life by the horns because life is great.  I have re-dedicated my goals to the Lord and I feel all warm inside...

Then... the dismissal... 

I leave with my new goals in mind, and my heart renewed.... however.... that mindset doesn't stand the chance when the back door swings open!  I automatically rethink my new goals. They suddenly don't make sense in my logical mind.  I end up tweaking them ever-so-slightly so they can make sense.  However, by the time saturday rolls around... my goals are not even close to accomplished and they look completely different. 

Then it is sunday again and.....

I am right back in church making the same goals all over again just to tweak them as soon as the pastor says "you are dismissed" and the CYCLE STARTS ALL OVER!

James 1:22-24 actually deals with the same issue.. "Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like a man who looks at his face in a mirror and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like."

So... how do you stop the cycle? 

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Are you a lion chaser?

A few months ago, Pastor Gary did a series called Fuel The series consisted of four weeks teaching us how to Fuel up on God.  The second week of this series was Fuel: the practice of reflecting.  This is particular week Pastor Gary mentioned a book, "In a Pit with a Lion on a Snowy Day" the sermon was about how we need to reflect on how big our God is, and that there is no pray that is "too small, too big, too easy or too difficult." This sermon caught my attention so I decided to buy the book.  

Here is a synopsis of the book: "Your greatest regret at the end of your life will be the lions you didn't chase.  You will look back longingly on risks not taken, opportunities not seized, and dream not pursued.  Stop running away from what scares you most and start chasing the God-ordained opportunities that cross your path.  This book is inspired by one of the most obscure yet courageous acts recored in Scripture, a blessed and audacious act that left no regrets: 'Benaiah chased a lion down into a pit.  Then, despite the snow and slippery ground, he caught the lion and killed it.' (2 Samuel 23: 20-21) Unleash the lion chaser within!  Our best days often start our as our worst days.  And our greatest opportunities are often disguised as our biggest problems.  You can land in a pit with a lion on a snowy day, and it will seem like the end of the road.  But God is in the recycling business.  He recycles past experiences and uses them to prepare us for future opportunities.  That is the story of our lives.  Look in the rearview mirror long enough and you'll see that God has purposely positioned you everywhere you've been--even when it seemed you'd taken a wrong turn."  

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At the end of each chapter there is a questions that sums up the chapter and also help the reader to grab hold of their lion and start chasing your God-ordained opportunies.  I encourage you to answer the question yourself.  

Chapter one: 

"What skills do you think might be the most difficult for you to master?

• Defying odds?
• Facing fears?
• Reframing Problems
• Embracing uncertainty?
• Taking risks?
• Seizing opportunities?
• Looking foolish?"

Chapter two:

"How big is your God? Is he big enough to do anything or are there limits (in your mind) to what God can do?  What could you do today to begin to life with a bigger view of God?"

Chapter three:

Mark says that "One if the greatest things that can happen to you is for your fear to become a reality."  Do you believe that's true?  What fear seems the most overwhelming to you today?  What do you think you might gain if that fear became a reality?

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